Perfection Paralysis

No Limits | The Freedom Blog™

Perfection Paralysis

Written by Steven Griggs | stevengriggs.com

The maxim “Nothing but perfection” may be spelled “Paralysis”             Winston Churchill

“Too late I found out you can’t wait to be perfect, you got to go out and fall down and get up with everybody else”                                                                            Ray Bradbury

I think we’ve all experienced it. It happens when you either can’t start something or you can’t finish it.

You just stop.

But what is happening? Some call it procrastination but procrastination is really the symptom of this effect.

What is it that makes us unable to proceed?

It is fear.

It is the fear of being imperfect, of being ridiculed or judged.

Once we create something, be it an article, a blog or piece of art and we put it out there to be read and seen, we become vulnerable.

Now we can be hurt.

It is a common thing for many artists and writers to reach a point where they can’t complete the project. They have to keep reviewing, rechecking and reediting and touching up. It can get way out of hand.

I have done this many times myself with my writing and art. One time I had the same picture sit on my easel for over a year. It was a water color of a broken wine bottle and I was at the crucial stage of completing the puddles of red wine on the floor and I couldn’t do it.

The picture was great up to that point but I was afraid I would ruin it.

Ruin it? This is an interesting idea because how could I ruin a painting I created? Whatever I created is my creation, right? I painted it this way and that’s what it is, period.

Well it didn’t feel that way.

And that was when I started realizing that I was fearful. I had a fear (limiting belief )  about not being good enough.

This is a paralyzing aspect of the limiting belief of poor or low self-esteem.

There really is no such thing as perfection and if you are striving for perfection, who is the judge? Who is judging you?  Who do you have to be perfect for?

Many ancient artisans including the American Indians would purposely make a mistake in a thing they were creating. Indian women when beading a garment or bag would put a bead of the wrong color in the item to make it imperfect. It wasn’t always very obvious but once you found it you knew it was done on purpose.

They believed that only the Great Spirit could be perfect and that any human trying to be perfect would be considered arrogant and insulting.

And you don’t want to mess around with the Great Spirit.

But I think they were on to something. They were making the statement that they were less than perfect. They were imperfect.

And that’s what we are. No one is perfect but we are all perfectly imperfect.

Each one of us is unique. We are each one of a kind. We don’t look the same, we don’t do things the same way. We each create our own project, product or artwork our way. We create it like no one else.

I have read that some artists and writers reach a point where they are about 80% done but at that point consider the project basically completed. In other words they know the project is done except for maybe the final chapter or some last minute touch ups or fill-ins on the painting.

They understand that every project reaches a point when it is done. They can’t add one more word or brush stroke to it. It is done and it’s time to let it go.

It’s time to move on to the next project.

So how do we deal with the limiting belief inside that holds us back by seeking perfection, which keeps us from completing our work and moving on to the next project?

If you are a creator, you have to create. If you have to stop because you fear criticism, then stop. Don’t create. Wait until it feels right.

But a funny aspect of this is that probably a major reason we create is because we feel inadequate in some way. We might get some of our creative energy from the very belief that tries to hold us back.

We can’t have it both ways. You can’t derive your creativity from a source and then worry about what that source might say about what you've created?

The answer is you have to create and then let it go. You have to be willing to show yourself to the world. 

So next time you feel hesitant about putting it out there, just do it. Force yourself to take the leap and say: “This is me. This is what I created. I want you to like it and get something from it but I’m only here for a short while and I've got a lot of stuff to do”.Take it or leave it because I don't have time to care.

If you fear a critic, have him bring his writings and his art and then you two can sit down and have a talk. You won't have to worry about that because a real creator doesn't criticize another artist.

Your fellow creators know what it's like, they have been through the same struggles as you so you have nothing to fear from them.

The ones that love you and love your work, they are the ones to care about.

That leaves everyone else and they don't get a vote. 

www.stevengriggs.com

Travels in Turkey - “From a Goddess to a Belief System"

No Limits | The Freedom Blog™

Travels in Turkey- “From a Goddess to a Belief System"

Written by Steven Griggs | stevengriggs.com

“We Are What We Believe We Are”

C.S. Lewis

"You Only Truly Believe That Which Drives You To Action"

Douglas Cheney

In ancient times the peoples of the world were pagans, they believed in many, many Gods.

Some of these Gods originated in Greek myths, Zeus, Apollo, Athena, Aphrodite etc.

Some of the Gods changed their names when the Romans came along. For example, Zeus became Jupiter, Athena became Minerva, and Aphrodite became Venus. One God, Apollo, got to keep his name.

The people of the time believed that everything that happened to them was the result of one or more gods being upset. They weren't being paid enough attention to. So the person would sacrifice an animal or donate something to the offended God to appease him or her and then hopefully things would go back to normal or at least the bad things that were happening would stop.

A belief that has carried through from all those years ago is the evil eye.

The evil eye originated from the myth of the gorgon, Medusa. Medusa was a beautiful woman with blue eyes and supposedly, hair of snakes. She had the power to turn anyone who looked at her into stone.

In the Greek myths she was slain by Perseus, who cut off her head and carried it with him to use against his enemies.

That tradition carried forward in the form of a small Medusa amulet that people would carry with them to ward off the evil eye.

The evil eye is called this because it refers to anyone who looks at you in an envious or jealous way. The people believed that envy and jealousy was evil and could create bad luck for you.

During the Christian times the authorities wanted to eliminate any connection to the old pagan ways so they made it illegal to carry the amulet of Medusa.

So eventually the amulet evolved into a blue eye.

If questioned the people would say it was the eye of a fish, the symbol of Christ. But it wasn't.

Today you can see the evil eye everywhere in Greece and Turkey.   

This ancient story is a reminder of the power of belief. Over thousands of years people have continued to believe in the power of the evil eye.

Today many such beliefs have carried over, such as throwing spilled salt over your left shoulder (to ward off bad luck) covering your mouth when you yawn (so spirits can't go into your body), etc.

So if we can believe in things that we know aren't real and don't really have any current relevancy how strong could our own internal, silent beliefs be?

What do you believe?

As a way to get a glimpse into your beliefs, watch yourself.

Watch how you talk to yourself.  Do you hear the comments you make to yourself?

"I don't really like to socialize, I think I'll just stay home" "I could never do what he does, he has guts" "What do I have to offer?"

These are clues into your underlying beliefs. What do you really believe to have this thought?

Watch yourself, watch how you operate.

The first step to working on your limiting beliefs is to recognize that you have them. We all do.

Then you begin the work of changing your beliefs.

In the meantime it still wouldn't hurt to have an evil eye hanging around.

www.stevengriggs.com

Do You Know Your Limiting Beliefs?

No Limits | The Freedom Blog™

Do Know Your Limiting Beliefs?

Written by Steven Griggs | stevengriggs.com

"If a man harbors any sort of fear, it percolates through all his thinking, damages his personality, makes him a landlord to a ghost."

Lloyd C. Douglas  

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind”

Elly Roselle

“Beliefs are the determinant of what one experiences. There are no external causes.”

David Hawkins

Many writers talk about Limiting Beliefs and tell you of ways to eliminate them.

But to do that don’t you have to be able to recognize them? And is it really that easy to recognize them?

Limiting beliefs are very subtle and difficult to recognize because they exist underneath our conscious thoughts, beneath our everyday mind. A certain belief becomes embedded in your mind and thereafter becomes a part of your filter, your belief system.

Over a lifetime they create the filter through which you see and interact with the world, your Under Programming.

Limiting Beliefs all originate in our childhood. They come through some event or comment that we took to heart. For whatever reason we applied an emotional charge to the event and it became embedded in our mind. We "believed" it.

As children we were constantly learning about this world, seeking to understand and fill in the gaps in our understanding.

To feel solid we sought answers. Sometimes the lessons or answers we received came from these emotionally charged events and became our Limiting Beliefs.

For example, being yelled at by a parent or ignored when you had something really important to share could create the belief that “I’m not important” or “No one wants to hear what I have to say”

Another belief could be created from hearing your parents or others talking negatively about money or wealth.

“Money doesn't grow on trees!” “Money isn't everything!” “Do you think I’m made of money?” You may therefore hold a negative opinion of money, a belief that money is bad.

Our parents can’t be blamed for any of this. They were the result of their programing and their parents were the result of their programing…. . It’s a vicious cycle.

But the final result is a compilation of all our limiting beliefs to form what I call our “Comfort Band”.

This is a band or range of comfort that we each live within. It is much like a thermostat setting, you have a high and a low and we operate within that range.

Sometimes you will range down towards the lower setting and sometimes bump up against the higher setting but you will always stay within the range. Not higher, not lower.

Have you ever noticed how many lottery winners seem to lose it all and end up right back where they started?

That’s why some people have more money than others. Their Comfort Bands allow for greater financial success, while some of us don’t feel comfortable being that successful.

It’s not based on intelligence, luck, education, connections or anything else for that matter. It is all based on our Under Programing and that sets the limits of our “Comfort Band”.

How do you uncover a limiting belief?

First, you need to listen to your self-talk and pay attention to those quiet little comments you make to yourself.

Listen for anything you say to yourself that is a negative statement, a justification or rationalization.

“I don’t know enough about (fill in the blank) to be successful”. “I can’t do that because (fill in the blank)”. “I’ve always been unlucky”. “I don’t know what I’d do with that kind of money.” It goes on and on.

These are all the symptoms of your underlying Limiting Beliefs.

There are many, many variations of Limiting Beliefs but basically they all boil down to having low self-esteem.

You can also look at your current circumstances to get a picture of your comfort settings.

How does your life feel? Are you where you want to be? Are you comfortable?

Do you day dream of having more? Do you fear having less?

How would it feel to drive a Maserati or a Lamborghini? How would it feel to live in an apartment in Trump Tower?

What feelings came up as you read those lines? Did you say to yourself, “Yeah! I want those!”

Or did some other thoughts come up?

These are clues.

I’m not saying that you necessarily want a Maserati or Lamborghini, or a Trump Tower apartment, I know my Comfort Band doesn't want those, it’s just not me.

The point is, by paying attention to yourself you can begin to see when you bump up against your band settings. And by learning your settings you can begin to understand who you are.

By continuing to understand who you are you can begin the process of uncovering the underlying beliefs that you created many years ago, the Limiting Beliefs that form your “Comfort Band”.

The next step: Getting clear on what you really want.

www.stevengriggs.com

Nature Reboot

No Limits | The Freedom Blog™

Nature Reboot

Written by Steven Griggs | stevengriggs.com

“Earth and sky, woods and fields, lakes and rivers, the mountain and the sea, are excellent schoolmasters, and teach some of us more than we can ever learn from books.”

John Lubbock

“Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does.”

 George Bernard Shaw

“As you sit on the hillside, or lie prone under the trees of the forest, or sprawl wet-legged by a mountain stream, the great door, that does not look like a door, opens.”

Stephen Graham

Do you ever have days where you are out of energy, out of ideas and out of desire to keep pushing forward? You’re just empty. Not to mention having no empathy, patience or room for any of the nonsense we are constantly subjected to?

I do. Today was one of those days. I just felt drained and tired. I’ve been involved in too many negotiations, too many meetings and way too much strategizing. I needed a break.

So I took a long walk. I went out into the wind. There was a bit of rain coming down. I just walked. I looked at the clouds, the trees, the birds….. I felt the rain on my face, the sound of the wind through the tops of the trees……and……

I remembered who I am.

We aren’t meant to sit in chairs, in offices or cubicles, in buildings under artificial light staring at glowing screens. We just aren’t. Not even for an hour let alone the 8- 10 hours a day that we do. We’re hunters.  We need to be moving not sitting. Acting not thinking.

For hundreds of thousands of years our ancestors lived in small tribal groups. We hunted in packs and lived off the land. We lived in forests or the grasslands, among trees that have been here for over 49 million years.

We were intimately in tune with everything around us. We could smell the weather. We could smell game or enemies. We could sense any changes around us. We were connected.

Although we seem to have lost that direct connection, that connection has never really gone away. We’re still connected it’s just that we have refocused our senses towards screens and cell phones. Towards short sound bites and superficial dialogue.

But it is imperative from time to time to remind yourself of who you really are.

Even if you grew up in the city or have never spent time outside camping or hiking, your ancient heritage is still there…. waiting.

Your deeper mind remembers who you are. It can take you back to those ancient days in an instant.

Have you ever noticed how good it feels to swim in a lake or the ocean instead of a swimming pool?

Have you ever thought about why it feels so good and natural to be sitting around a fire?

Or how much hungrier you are and how good the food tastes when you cooked it on that fire?

Get out. Walk in the wind. Feel your connection.

If you are in a city, walk in the park.

If you don’t have a park, just walk and notice the signs of nature’s persistence in the green weeds growing up through the cracks in the sidewalk or the growth in a vacant lot.

Feel it. Own it and remember the things we worry about aren’t real. They don’t really mean anything. Those problems and worries will end up being nothing. Not even a memory.

We are not outside of nature. Nature isn’t something that we have to deal with or control.  We are nature.

So relax. You are home wherever you are, connected to everything.

Just remember who you really are.

www.stevengriggs.com

Tecumseh

No Limits | The Freedom Blog™

Tecumseh

Written by Steven Griggs | stevengriggs.com

I was watching the new movie- “Act of Valor” last night ( I highly recommend it) and in it one of the characters wrote a letter to the young son of his recently killed comrade in arms.

In the letter he quoted the great Shawnee leader-Tecumseh. The following is Tecumseh’s speech:

“So live your life so the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their views, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and of service to your people.

Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide. Always give a word or sign of salute when meeting or passing a stranger if in a lonely place. Show respect to all people, but grovel to none. When you arise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life and strength.

Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies in yourself. Touch not the poisonous firewater that makes wise ones turn to fools and robs them of their visions.

When your time comes to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home.”    Tecumseh

What more can you say?

www.stevengriggs.com

How's Your Internal Dialogue?

No Limits | The Freedom Blog

How’s Your Internal Dialogue?

Written by Steven Griggs | stevengriggs.com

"The internal dialogue is what grounds people in the daily world. The world is such and such and so and so, only because we talk to ourselves about it being such and such and so and so. The passageway into the world of the shamans opens up after the warrior has learned to shut off his internal dialogue" Carlos Castaneda

How is your self-talk?

Are you aware of how you talk to yourself?

Are you even aware that you “talk” to yourself?

We all do it. For many of us the voice speaks very quietly and we almost don’t hear it, but it’s there.

We talk to ourselves constantly. We are on an endless loop of questions, commentaries, replays and reruns.

We play back conversations and think of things we should or shouldn’t have said.

We replay scenarios of what we should or shouldn’t have done.

We relive old battles and arguments. We have imaginary conversations with our bosses or our spouse or children.

It never ends.

But in one way we are stuck and can’t get away from it. This is because we think in terms of language. We don’t just see images of the scene in our mind, we also translate it into words.

So there we are.

But there are ways to change this, to dial it down and alter the conversation.

The first step in learning to modify or adjust your self-talk is to begin paying attention to what you are saying…. especially about yourself.

Watch how you treat yourself and the things you say. (Isn’t this all a bit weird? Your mind listening to your mind talking to itself about itself…..!)

Keep track of how often you say something negative or critical about yourself, or your ability, or your looks, your body…. you get what I mean.

That’s the beginning.

Later you can begin changing your mind’s thought patterns through meditation. The goal in meditation (it really shouldn’t be called a goal) is to quiet the mind so you fall in between the gaps, the gaps between your thoughts.

It takes a little bit of technique and a little practice but meditating will have a profound effect on your mind and body. I will go into it more in a later article.

So start tuning in to what you are saying about yourself. Become aware of how you actually feel about yourself.

You can change the recording just like changing a CD.

You just have to listen.

www.stevengriggs.com