Freedom Blog

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Fear


No Limits | The Freedom Blog

Fear

Written by Steven Griggs | stevengriggs.com

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.  Only I will remain.”      
Frank Herbert-“Dune”

Are you fearful? Are there times when you feel fear creeping into you, filling you up with doubt, your mind racing with possible solutions and outcomes? Have you felt like a trapped animal trying to find the way out, to escape, to be free again? Searching to find the answer that can lift this dark veil? To find a way to end the rising tension and crippling feeling of helplessness that flows into you….?

I know I have. And I’m pretty sure most of us have felt it.

But is it real? And what is fear?

Essentially, there are two types of fear:

The first is the ancient, hardwired “Fight or Flight” response. This is triggered by a direct outside stimulus: someone is outside your door trying to break in; you are confronted by a violent person; you are about to go on stage for a performance or speech, etc.

This triggers a chemical response in your brain and adrenaline and cortisol are released into your bloodstream. You experience a rise in blood pressure, rapid heart rate, sweating, a sharpening of your senses as your body gets ready to fight or run.

The other type of fear is a reaction to some outside event or new information you have become aware of, some future event that may happen. This type of fear manifests as anxiety. You become anxious because your ego mind does not know what is coming next and becomes more frantic because it doesn’t know. It panics because it can’t see the answer or know what the response should be.

How do you handle these fears?

Of the two, fight or flight is basically hardwired into us and can’t really be changed and for a good reason, it helps us survive.

In time the fear of public speaking or performing in front of crowds may lessen and other fears become less intense from familiarity and experience.

The second type of fear is basically a fear of the unknown. Again, it’s your ego mind’s need to know what’s coming and control outcomes. Fear does not exist outside your mind.

There are methods you can use to mitigate or lessen the impact fear has on your mind.

One thing I always come back to is to remind myself of the 80/20 rule or Paretos’s Principle: 80% of the things you worry about don’t happen and the 20% that do, aren’t as bad as you thought they’d be.

Here are three things to do:

1.      Ask, is it real? Fear only exists within you. There is no such thing as fear “out there”, only inside, so acknowledge to yourself that feeling fearful is ok but it is only a response. You can change your response.

2.     Believe in yourself and acknowledge that you are in control. It’s your mind, you are at the controls. Know that you have the ability to handle anything that comes at you. You already know the correct response. It always comes down to two answers: “They will or they won’t”, “It will work or it won’t”. “Yes or no”.

There are no good or bad outcomes, there is just the outcome. You just accept what is and respond to next set of circumstances.

3.      Accept what is. Whatever the outcome is, accept it and make a new plan. If you’ve done your best and taken action on your best idea, then let go and get ready for the next step.
  
Don’t waste one minute living in fear. Don’t give fear the time of day. It’s not real.

Live this life fully and know that when you look back some day these issues will seem very insignificant.

And if the worst happens, what is it?

Really, what’s the worst that could happen?

There are no more debtor’s prisons. Damaging your credit means nothing, that can be mitigated easily. Losing face or feeling humiliated is over rated, because it doesn’t really matter what other people think. Losing homes, net worth or assets is nothing. You can replace them later. If you are sued, so what, settle or walk away and start over.

If you have your health, your mind, and an idea, you can rebuild anything you think you’ve lost.

Just look at these issues as turds in the road. Go over or around them but keep moving.




Sunday, October 14, 2012

Too Many Questions


No Limits | The Freedom Blog

Too Many Questions

Written by Steven Griggs | stevengriggs.com

“In the past, I always used to be looking for answers. Today, I know there are only questions. So I just live.” 
Sarah Brightman

“People asking questions, lost in confusion….”
John Lennon

Do you pay attention to your self-talk? You know, the never ending conversation you are having with yourself?

Sometimes we forget that we are actually having a conversation because we are so used to it and think it’s just a normal part of thinking.

And it is, for the most part. But there is something else going on.
Since we think in terms of language we are actually saying everything we are thinking, not out loud (although some of us do) but in our mind.

And for the most part what we are saying is a rerun, an endless running commentary on the past, present and future. See How's Your Internal Dialogue?

A major side effect of your running commentary is that you reinforce a lot of the limiting beliefs you may already have. You’re bound to start believing something if you’ve said it to yourself thousands of times…..

But the most serious effect all this talking creates is the chaos created from the constant barrage of questions. Questions cause confusion. You may not even be aware that you are asking questions, but if you pay attention you will see that you are constantly seeking answers, trying to see what is next.

There are huge question marks floating around inside all those conversations.

Trying to discern the answer comes from your ego personality trying to control outcomes.

It does not like uncertainty and it especially dislikes contradiction.

So what do you do?

How do you stop the mind churn and reduce the confusion?

A first step is to realize that most of the time you already know the answer.

If you don’t have an answer you probably aren’t ready and the answer hasn’t arrived yet.

So accept that. You’ll know when you know and until then you can tell your mind that it doesn’t matter.

Remember 80% of the things you are worried about don’t happen and the 20% that do are never as bad as you thought they would be.

When the questions start, tell yourself “I don’t need to know right now, when it’s time I will know.” 

Don't allow your mind to continue on with that particular conversation. I use the word "cancel" sometimes to throw a monkey wrench into it. To stop it.

Stop the questioning and you’ll stop the confusion.

Remember what Scarlett O’Hara said in “Gone with The Wind”, “I won't think about that now. I’ll think about that tomorrow.”

Stop questioning and you will stop the confusion.