Don't Look Back (Or Forward)

No Limits | The Freedom Blog™

Don’t Look Back (Or Forward)

Written by Steven Griggs | stevengriggs.com

“With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Don’t let the past steal your present”  Terri Guillemets

How many times a day do you reminisce or review the past?

And how many times a day do you find yourself dreaming of the future?

We are all doing it constantly.

If you really think about it our days are made up of a constant stream of reviewing the past and looking into the future.

You aren't really doing anything in the present because it doesn't really exist.

The truth is that the present is the meeting point of the past and the future.

It is the split second between when we are moving from what is going to happen next (the future) to what has already happened (the past).

It feels like the present because you can see yourself doing whatever you are doing right now and it looks like the present because you can say “I am right here in the present” but it isn't and you aren't because your present, which was the future, has just become the past.

Instantly.

So the present doesn't really exist. It’s not really somewhere that you can “be in.”

Just as you are saying the word “present” you have already gone from the future to the past.

So there is no middle ground, no place where the present exists. It’s a constantly moving moment that exists as an infinitesimal gap between the future and the past.

The closest thing to the present is the immediate future and the most recent past.

But we constantly hear people talking about being present or staying in the present moment.

But how can you?

How can we exist in a present that doesn't really exist? What are we to do?

The key to expanding your moments of “present” is to reduce the amount of time you spend thinking about the past or the future.

You will still be going from the future to the past but you can refocus your viewpoint.

You can reduce your mind’s need to time travel and keep it close, keep it right here, right now.

As best you can.

Try to focus on the things going on around you.

Feel your body, feel your breath going in and out. Feel your body resting on the chair you are sitting in, feel your feet on the ground.

See the clouds rolling by, the birds in the air, the wind in the trees.

Smell the smells, taste the tastes, feel the sun on your face, really “be” with the person you are talking to.

Step away from your mind’s endless churning, from its constant searching and reviewing.

Reduce your visits to the past and future, I say reduce because you can’t eliminate your memories or stop dreaming of future possibilities because it’s a basic part of our human mind, but you can pull back from your need to dwell in the past or the future.

Make a renewed effort to stay right where you are every day.

Every time you start drifting off into past recollections or looking forward too far, pull yourself back.

Get back to now.

Not the present but now.

Focus on what is happening “now” even if “now” is moving instantly from future to past.

It’s the closest we can get to the present.

www.stevengriggs.com

Perfection Paralysis

No Limits | The Freedom Blog™

Perfection Paralysis

Written by Steven Griggs | stevengriggs.com

The maxim “Nothing but perfection” may be spelled “Paralysis”             Winston Churchill

“Too late I found out you can’t wait to be perfect, you got to go out and fall down and get up with everybody else”                                                                            Ray Bradbury

I think we’ve all experienced it. It happens when you either can’t start something or you can’t finish it.

You just stop.

But what is happening? Some call it procrastination but procrastination is really the symptom of this effect.

What is it that makes us unable to proceed?

It is fear.

It is the fear of being imperfect, of being ridiculed or judged.

Once we create something, be it an article, a blog or piece of art and we put it out there to be read and seen, we become vulnerable.

Now we can be hurt.

It is a common thing for many artists and writers to reach a point where they can’t complete the project. They have to keep reviewing, rechecking and reediting and touching up. It can get way out of hand.

I have done this many times myself with my writing and art. One time I had the same picture sit on my easel for over a year. It was a water color of a broken wine bottle and I was at the crucial stage of completing the puddles of red wine on the floor and I couldn’t do it.

The picture was great up to that point but I was afraid I would ruin it.

Ruin it? This is an interesting idea because how could I ruin a painting I created? Whatever I created is my creation, right? I painted it this way and that’s what it is, period.

Well it didn’t feel that way.

And that was when I started realizing that I was fearful. I had a fear (limiting belief )  about not being good enough.

This is a paralyzing aspect of the limiting belief of poor or low self-esteem.

There really is no such thing as perfection and if you are striving for perfection, who is the judge? Who is judging you?  Who do you have to be perfect for?

Many ancient artisans including the American Indians would purposely make a mistake in a thing they were creating. Indian women when beading a garment or bag would put a bead of the wrong color in the item to make it imperfect. It wasn’t always very obvious but once you found it you knew it was done on purpose.

They believed that only the Great Spirit could be perfect and that any human trying to be perfect would be considered arrogant and insulting.

And you don’t want to mess around with the Great Spirit.

But I think they were on to something. They were making the statement that they were less than perfect. They were imperfect.

And that’s what we are. No one is perfect but we are all perfectly imperfect.

Each one of us is unique. We are each one of a kind. We don’t look the same, we don’t do things the same way. We each create our own project, product or artwork our way. We create it like no one else.

I have read that some artists and writers reach a point where they are about 80% done but at that point consider the project basically completed. In other words they know the project is done except for maybe the final chapter or some last minute touch ups or fill-ins on the painting.

They understand that every project reaches a point when it is done. They can’t add one more word or brush stroke to it. It is done and it’s time to let it go.

It’s time to move on to the next project.

So how do we deal with the limiting belief inside that holds us back by seeking perfection, which keeps us from completing our work and moving on to the next project?

If you are a creator, you have to create. If you have to stop because you fear criticism, then stop. Don’t create. Wait until it feels right.

But a funny aspect of this is that probably a major reason we create is because we feel inadequate in some way. We might get some of our creative energy from the very belief that tries to hold us back.

We can’t have it both ways. You can’t derive your creativity from a source and then worry about what that source might say about what you've created?

The answer is you have to create and then let it go. You have to be willing to show yourself to the world. 

So next time you feel hesitant about putting it out there, just do it. Force yourself to take the leap and say: “This is me. This is what I created. I want you to like it and get something from it but I’m only here for a short while and I've got a lot of stuff to do”.Take it or leave it because I don't have time to care.

If you fear a critic, have him bring his writings and his art and then you two can sit down and have a talk. You won't have to worry about that because a real creator doesn't criticize another artist.

Your fellow creators know what it's like, they have been through the same struggles as you so you have nothing to fear from them.

The ones that love you and love your work, they are the ones to care about.

That leaves everyone else and they don't get a vote. 

www.stevengriggs.com

Are You Living In The Moment?

 

No Limits | The Freedom Blog™

Are You Living In The Moment?

Written by Steven Griggs | stevengriggs.com

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”                                                                                                      Buddha

“I know that the purpose of life is to understand and be in the present moment with the people you love. It's just that simple.”                                                         Jane Seymour
 

We’ve all been advised by well meaning friends who tell us: “You must learn to be present “, “You have to live in the present moment”.

This is absolutely correct and being reminded is a good thing but usually the person “advising” us, while meaning well, probably has no real concept of what it actually means.

It sounds good and I’m sure they mean well but if you are telling other people what to do or how they should conduct their lives you are probably not really “living in the moment” yourself. You are coming from a place that may be a bit tinged by ego.

Living in the present is not easy, it is extremely difficult.

Our culture actually leads us in the opposite direction. We find ourselves either day dreaming of the future or reminiscing about the past.

When I say reminiscing I am being generous because usually when we look back it is not generally with a warm, fuzzy feeling, it is more often than not tinged with a little regret or remorse. We are mostly rehashing the past, not looking back with satisfaction and acceptance.

And daydreaming about the future is a handy way for our ego mind to assuage itself and vicariously taste the future without actually having to make the effort or take the action needed to make it happen.

Some may say they are not daydreaming or reminiscing but that is not necessarily living in the present. You may find that you are just cruising along on autopilot. Looking out at the world from the safe, familiar rhythm of day-to-day routines.

Living in the present is not automatic. It takes practice.

It is the conscious, and that is the key word, the conscious act of being in touch with what is happening right now, at this very moment, and keeping that feeling as long as you can.

It is paying attention.

Being here.

Right now.

It is the focused attention you put on your friend’s face as they are telling you about something that happened to them or some important issue that they are dealing with. It is listening with all your senses. It means turning your phone off and putting it away.

It means really hearing the words they are saying and diving deeper into the emotions that lie underneath the words. It is not waiting for them to stop so you can talk about yourself.

It is keeping your mind from wandering off into parallel thoughts that rise up as you listen. It is the ability to push those thoughts to the side and stay focused on your friend.

It is paying attention when you are walking down the street or hiking on a mountain path.

It is feeling the wind on your face, seeing the branches moving in the trees. It is noticing the animal tracks in the dust, the ants moving through the pebbles on the trail or in the cracks in the sidewalk.

It is hearing the sounds of the birds in the trees or their calls in the distance.

It is feeling your heart beating, feeling each breath enter and leave your lungs.

It is smelling the scents on the wind, the smoke in the air, even the exhaust from a car.

It is all this.

It is the feeling, hearing, seeing and smelling of life around you.

It is simply being aware.

www.stevengriggs.com

Who Do You See When You Look In The Mirror

No Limits | The Freedom Blog™

Who Do You See When You Look In The Mirror?

Written by Steven Griggs | stevengriggs.com

“People want to be in their own fashion tribes, so they want to wear the same clothes to be connected to everyone else in that tribe. But they want to be different from other tribes.”

Christian Lacroix

“What tribes are, is a very simple concept that goes back 50 million years. It's about leading and connecting people and ideas. And it's something that people have wanted forever.”                                                                                              Seth Godin

Who are you? What message are you projecting out to the world? Did you even think you were projecting a message?

Maybe you are not consciously trying but by not trying to you are still sending a message.

Who are you trying to notify? What information are you trying to present?

It’s all about presentation, how we present ourselves helps notify others about who we are. It helps them see what we believe and where we stand.

It’s a warning and a beacon. One glance around and you know exactly where you are and where you stand.

But the bottom line is that we do it because we all just want to belong.

If you were a new visitor to our planet, you would see that we are all basically wearing costumes.

Your clothes, your shoes, your hair or makeup, everything you are presenting on your body says something about you.

Your costume identifies your tribe. Or in the case of Amazon Indians, your hair and your tattoos.

The motive here is to show other tribe members you belong to their tribe and at the same time show everyone else that you are not a member of theirs.

Our costumes are really more about exclusion than inclusion.

Sometimes people are a little in your face in their efforts to emphasize that they are not a part of your tribe.

But it’s all just an effort to belong, especially in younger people. It’s almost a requirement. They need to break away from their parents, from the establishment, to show their independence.

And that sometimes requires drastic action to make the right statement.

They use bright hair colors and drastic styles, tattoos, logo wear and clothes, piercings, etc. to make their point. They use shock and horror as a tool.

I think we have all been there once upon a time. Maybe some of us were more drastic than others.

I know I was.

I was 14 in 1964. I was in a band. I grew up at Lake Tahoe and hitchhiked to spend weekends in San Francisco in the Haight Ashbury district. What do you think I was doing? How do you think I looked?

Talk about shock and horror. I freaked my family out!

At least for a minute but then my family is a bit eccentric. Take a look at my mother (Google "Granny G". She was a finalist on America's Got Talent.

But it’s just a period of transition, a transitioning out of one phase into another. Some phases take longer than others and some phases can become almost permanent. I’m sure you know people who are locked into a phase.

Does it matter? I don’t think so.

But think of all the tribes that you can immediately identify. You can see them everywhere, every day.

For example, look at biker clubs.

I was at a rally the other day where my friend's band was playing (I was the roadie and part time singer) and there were about 5 or 6 biker clubs there. For me it was very interesting to see the hierarchy being displayed. With the tattoos, the bandannas, the leather, the patches, the prospects trying hard to belong, to earn their full patch. You can see the whole process of belonging in action.

I have no problem with bikers, I get it. I like bikes. My best friend from childhood has been a Hell’s Angel since the sixties. He’s probably one of the few remaining Outlaws alive from the early days of the club.

But they’re tribes.

Looking from the outside, although we may not really get how unique it is when several million kids throughout America are dressed the same way, we understand.

We can see how the need to be accepted by a group of like souls is so important.

It’s important to belong, to gain confidence and become more solid. To begin to become who you are.

It takes steps, phases and tribes.

Because it doesn't stop when you leave one tribe behind, you just become part of another tribe.

And so it goes.

www.stevengriggs.com

Travels in Turkey - “From a Goddess to a Belief System"

No Limits | The Freedom Blog™

Travels in Turkey- “From a Goddess to a Belief System"

Written by Steven Griggs | stevengriggs.com

“We Are What We Believe We Are”

C.S. Lewis

"You Only Truly Believe That Which Drives You To Action"

Douglas Cheney

In ancient times the peoples of the world were pagans, they believed in many, many Gods.

Some of these Gods originated in Greek myths, Zeus, Apollo, Athena, Aphrodite etc.

Some of the Gods changed their names when the Romans came along. For example, Zeus became Jupiter, Athena became Minerva, and Aphrodite became Venus. One God, Apollo, got to keep his name.

The people of the time believed that everything that happened to them was the result of one or more gods being upset. They weren't being paid enough attention to. So the person would sacrifice an animal or donate something to the offended God to appease him or her and then hopefully things would go back to normal or at least the bad things that were happening would stop.

A belief that has carried through from all those years ago is the evil eye.

The evil eye originated from the myth of the gorgon, Medusa. Medusa was a beautiful woman with blue eyes and supposedly, hair of snakes. She had the power to turn anyone who looked at her into stone.

In the Greek myths she was slain by Perseus, who cut off her head and carried it with him to use against his enemies.

That tradition carried forward in the form of a small Medusa amulet that people would carry with them to ward off the evil eye.

The evil eye is called this because it refers to anyone who looks at you in an envious or jealous way. The people believed that envy and jealousy was evil and could create bad luck for you.

During the Christian times the authorities wanted to eliminate any connection to the old pagan ways so they made it illegal to carry the amulet of Medusa.

So eventually the amulet evolved into a blue eye.

If questioned the people would say it was the eye of a fish, the symbol of Christ. But it wasn't.

Today you can see the evil eye everywhere in Greece and Turkey.   

This ancient story is a reminder of the power of belief. Over thousands of years people have continued to believe in the power of the evil eye.

Today many such beliefs have carried over, such as throwing spilled salt over your left shoulder (to ward off bad luck) covering your mouth when you yawn (so spirits can't go into your body), etc.

So if we can believe in things that we know aren't real and don't really have any current relevancy how strong could our own internal, silent beliefs be?

What do you believe?

As a way to get a glimpse into your beliefs, watch yourself.

Watch how you talk to yourself.  Do you hear the comments you make to yourself?

"I don't really like to socialize, I think I'll just stay home" "I could never do what he does, he has guts" "What do I have to offer?"

These are clues into your underlying beliefs. What do you really believe to have this thought?

Watch yourself, watch how you operate.

The first step to working on your limiting beliefs is to recognize that you have them. We all do.

Then you begin the work of changing your beliefs.

In the meantime it still wouldn't hurt to have an evil eye hanging around.

www.stevengriggs.com

You Watch, I Drive!

No Limits | The Freedom Blog™

Travels in Istanbul - "You Watch, I Drive!"

Written by Steven Griggs | stevengriggs.com

“You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.”

Steve Maraboli

"Sometimes surrender means giving up trying to understand and becoming comfortable with not knowing."

Anonymous

I'd finally arrived in Istanbul late at night. My sister had arranged for a driver to pick me up at the airport.

My sister has lived in Istanbul for 5 months and does not have a car. Generally to get to Istanbul from the outlying suburb she lives in requires a long walk to the subway, a long ride to the docks, a ferry ride across the Bosporus to Kadakoy and then a tram ride to go anywhere else in the city.

So for my first jaunt in Istanbul late at night I thought it would be better to hire a driver. Very little signage is in English, very few people speak it and she lives very far away from the airport.

She said my driver spoke English and at first he did. But after the greeting and a few short sentences that was it.

At first everything seemed fine but then he started stopping at every cross street and looking around at the different buildings. After the 5th or 6th time he stopped at a crossroad I asked if he had the number of my sister's Turkish friend to call for better directions. At first he ignored me, but after the second time I mentioned it he turned to me and said "You watch, I drive".

I immediately got it and said nothing more. But it made me think, and I realized I was holding on too tight to knowing. I was trying to control the outcome by trying to influence the driver.

Yes it was important to get to my destination, but I knew I would eventually get there.  It just might take longer, and maybe I would get a chance to "watch" a little more.

But it really struck home as I realized I was not staying within my control zone, meaning within my own mind and body.

I continued to watch myself over the next few days.  I noticed that I was continually trying to "control" my progress on the various transportation legs by visualizing the next the steps I would be taking, trying to anticipate what was next.

Where would I stand to avoid the crush of the crowd onto the ferry, what cabin would I get on in the subway, etc.

I had to remind myself that it didn't matter where I stood in the line, it didn't matter what the crowd was doing, none of it really mattered. All that mattered was that I was in Turkey getting ready to visit some of the most fascinating historical sites in the world. Some of the places I'd always dreamed of visiting.

So right then I decided - I am here, I am living a dream and I will just sit back and watch from here on out.

www.stevengriggs.com

Is Seeing Believing?

No Limits | The Freedom Blog™

Is Seeing Believing?

Written by Steven Griggs | stevengriggs.com

“Seeing is believing. I will believe in God only if I see him: but are all things seen or heard or tasted, as real as they seem?”

Sri Sathva Sai Baba

“You must understand that seeing is believing but also know that believing is seeing.”

Denis Waitley

Did you know that we can only see about 10% of the matter (luminous matter) that exists in our world?  That means that the other 90% of what is out there is invisible to us (dark matter).

Did you also know that our eyes really aren't “seeing” ? Of course are eyes are seeing but it isn't that simple.

Our brain is decoding the information sent to it by the eyes and in some instances it is making up what it thinks it sees based upon prior information and expectations or assumptions.

In other words there is a lot of interpreting going on.  It is not always a direct translation of what you are looking at. Sometimes there is an incomplete picture being transmitted and our brain must fill in the blanks.

Our brain decides what we are seeing.

It is estimated that the brain makes up or creates 30-40% of the information that it uses to fill in the blanks.

Another interesting insight is that our brain is not actually analyzing the picture it receives from the eyes. It is analyzing the light it is receiving.

This is called the Visible Spectrum and it is the only band of electromagnetic spectrum (light) visible to the human eye.

The only colors we can see are the 7 colors of the rainbow and each has its own frequency, ranging from 390 nanometers to 700 nm. This Visible Spectrum falls in between ultraviolet and infrared. Some animals such as bees can see infra-red.

So our mind is detecting and analyzing the electromagnetic radiation frequencies of the colors it is seeing.  This information is transmitted through the eye into the retina where the chemical rhodopsin converts it into electrical impulses. These impulses are then analyzed and interpreted by the brain.

The reason I am explaining this is because in all this translation and interpretation our brains can sometimes get it wrong.

What you think you are seeing may not be exactly what is there.

In fact research has shown that a person may see things differently depending upon their state of mind and their emotional support network.

Dr. Kent D. Harber, associate professor of psychology at Rutgers University at Newark has a theory he calls ‘The Resources and Perception Model (RPM)”. 

According to Dr. Harber:

“People who have fewer social resources, such as friends and family, literally see challenging objects and events in a more exaggerated way than do people who feel emotionally supported."

“Those with fewer friends, with lower self-esteem and with less opportunity to disclose their emotions tend to visually amplify threats," Dr. Harber said. "Their perceptions are exaggerated, and disturbing things appear higher, closer, of greater duration or more intense than they actually are.” (my emphasis)

“Those who are isolated, who often lack self-worth, or who are in other ways bereft of resources might live in a more threatening world where mole hills look like mountains.” (my emphasis)

Knowing this, can you look back and see times when your outlook might have been affected by your situation? Maybe when you were going through a rough patch…..?

I know I can relate to this phenomenon. During certain periods of my life when I was going through emotional or personal challenges I think I saw and felt the effects of this.

To see if this negative viewpoint was real or imagined I used to check on myself by thinking of something I really loved, something that was a constant thing I always responded positively to.

If IT felt bad then I knew the feelings I was having had to be temporary, they weren't real. 

So I would let it go and not buy into it.

The next time things seem to be a little darker or a little bigger and maybe a bit scarier, remember that your mind may be influenced by your current situation.

What you are believing may not really be what you are seeing.

www.stevengriggs.com