Are You Creating Your Perfect Reality?

No Limits | The Freedom Blog™

Are You Creating Your Perfect Reality?

Written by Steven Griggs | stevengriggs.com

“To understand the limitation of “things”, desire them” 

Lao Tzu

“The wise man is one who knows what he does not know”

Lao Tzu

How many dreams that you've dreamed of have come true? 

I’ll bet many of them, in fact I’ll bet all of them.

Some may be saying “No! I rarely get what I wish for”.

But when I say that, I am referring to the belief that lies beneath the dream, the underlying belief you have about that day dream.

Some will answer “Wrong! I didn't want these circumstances, this terrible situation. I didn't ask for stress and never ending financial struggles”.

But you did.

You may say “No, I dreamed of having a beautiful house and a new sports car and hitting the lottery!”

Yes, but you believed more that you were unlucky and never win anything, that you could never have a million dollar house or ever own a Porsche or Mercedes.

These thoughts aren't a loud nagging voice or really even a voice at all. This is your inner critic. It is just a tiny persistent whisper that keeps reminding you of your reality. 

Your beliefs.

I've talked about this many times. We create or attract what we put out there. Good, bad or whatever.

It is the subconscious “under-programming” that gets heard not our wishes, wants or day dreams.

It is what your unconscious mind really believes in that happens.

So what do you do? How can we change it or at least begin to change our under programming?

The first step is to get clear on what you are really believing. To do that you have to learn to hear those little internal whispers that reflect your limiting beliefs.

How do you do that?

This is where it can get tricky.

The critical part about identifying our limiting beliefs is being able to separate them from our definition of ourselves or our self-view.

This is because in taking on these beliefs we “agreed “to believe them. We actually became comfortable believing them.

So identifying them and taking action to remove them can sometimes be a challenging process.

We began to believe that this is who we are, that we were born this way and this is our lot in life, etc.

The most common limiting beliefs all revolve around self-worth or self-esteem.

“I’m not good enough”

“I’m not smart enough”

Therefore most of your limiting beliefs will be sourced from these basic beliefs.

"I don’t make enough money, because…...."

"I don’t have a good job because……."

"I’m not successful because……."

"I don’t deserve this because……."

So your homework for this week is to listen to yourself. Watch how you talk to yourself.

Hear your inner critic's voice when it gives you those little hints or clues about how you are really feeling about yourself.

Next time we’ll talk more about getting a clearer picture of your limiting beliefs and how to begin to change them.

www.stevengriggs.com

Who Are You Really?

No Limits | The Freedom Blog™

Who Are You Really?

Written by Steven Griggs | stevengriggs.com

“What a liberation to realize that the 'voice in my head' is not who I am. Who am I then? The one who sees that.”

Eckhart Tolle

“Knowing others is wisdom, Knowing yourself is enlightenment”                          Lao Tzu 

“All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make, the better.”   Ralph Waldo Emerson

Who do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you accept who you see? Is this the real you? Are there things about you or your life that you would change?

Looking in the mirror for many people is a torturous process (I'm not talking about visuals, how many spots or wrinkles you have now, or how you are aging.....). They see so much that they don’t like, things that they might even hate. They get reminded of their weaknesses or their failures or of their unrealized potential and uncompleted goals. 

They don’t see the person they wanted to be.

The hard truth is that you created you. Who you are at this very moment, you created.

It’s not as if you actually sat down and designed yourself but in a way you did, it just didn’t happen all at once.

You are the sum total of your all beliefs, your positive beliefs and your limiting beliefs. This is it. What you see is where you are, at this moment.

Everything is how you designed it: the way you look, your confidence or lack of confidence; the way you interact with people or don’t interact; your good habits and your bad ones; your current circumstances and your monetary status; the way you make your money; the woman or man you choose.

Plus the challenges you create for yourself, the drama that may exist in your life.

So the question is: when you look in the mirror do you see yourself as a finished product or as unfinished business?

For some, it may be hard to tell the difference, especially if you believe that life happens to you instead of you happening to life.

Because if you ever look out at the world and can see a reason why it hasn’t worked out for you, you are a victim.

If you ever think life has thrown you a few curve balls, you are a victim.

If you think you were dealt a bad hand and have had nothing but bad luck, you are a victim.

Until you understand and accept that you created your life, that you brought about every event and episode in it and that you wrote every chapter, you will remain a victim.

But the best part is that once you get it, once you accept that you are the creator and take ownership, you can change it all.

Anything you really want to change, you can. And I mean quickly.

I also don’t believe that obesity, drug abuse, alcoholism or any other affliction we humans deal with is necessary. Be careful of the word “addiction”. It is a dangerous word because addiction implies no control. It is a kind of invitation to let go and allow yourself to float down stream.

But it is not a given.

It is not absolutely required even if your family may have a genetic disposition toward addiction. That same genetic disposition appears in many people who choose not to allow situations or circumstances that lead to food, alcohol or drug abuse into their lives.

But on the other hand, if you choose to allow addiction into your life, that is your choice.

It could be that you need to understand the full meaning and reality of some kind of abuse or addiction.

Maybe you will need to do it for a month, a year or even 20 years. It doesn’t really matter. This is your life, your path. You are here to learn.

But if you are ready to turn a new page, then start.

Take control.

Look in the mirror and decide.

If you are where you want to be, more power to you, good on you.

If not, what is missing? What is needed to become who you really are?

What is needed to fulfill the promise and potential you know you have?

First: Accept that you create your life.

Second: Forgive yourself if you got off track. Turn the corner.

Third: See who you want to be. Get a picture of how you want it to be.

And then start.

www.stevengriggs.com

Action is the Killer of Fear

No Limits | The Freedom Blog™

Action is the Killer of Fear

Written by Steven Griggs | stevengriggs.com

“Do you want to know who you are? Don't ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you.”

Thomas Jefferson

“You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do”

C.G. Jung

“Action expresses priorities”

Mahatma Gandhi

All of us become stuck at some point.

We find ourselves stuck in revolving and repetitive reviews of uncomfortable choices. We occupy our minds revisiting our problems, reevaluating our options, reviewing possible outcomes, looking for the right thing to do.

We become almost paralyzed. Some call it analysis paralysis.

The paralysis comes from the fact that because we have spent so much time dwelling in the place of our problems or limitations that it becomes comfortable.

And…..safer.

You don’t have to make a choice or take action it’s easier to just think about it.

It’s like we’re swimming in a hot tub of problems, it’s warm and cozy and that makes it harder and harder to step out into the cold. 

But by taking just one step forward you can break out of your inertia and change your position relative to where you just were. That one step reveals new opportunities and options that you can then move towards.

Action creates its own momentum, it pulls you forward to the next step.

It’s like walking. When we walk we are actually in a controlled fall, you step out with the left leg and start to fall to the right. Your right leg steps out to stop the fall and you fall to the left then your left leg steps out. Step, fall, step, fall. If you increase the rate of the falling then you are running.

It’s the same with action. Take a step, review and react to the new situation, take another step, review and react. Pretty soon you are moving at a much greater speed.

At speed, your options increase, your fear dissipates and you see more possibilities.

It doesn't matter if the action you take is not exactly the correct action, it just matters that you act, that you move yourself forward on the board.

Taking action changes your physiology, your mindset. You may still have doubts and fears but just the act of doing something affirms that you have control, that you can change things.  

You begin to melt away the doubt.

And if you are still unsure and can’t see the next step clearly sometimes just getting out and exercising will do the trick. Take a walk, it will change your state.

It really works.

Action is the fear killer.

Don’t spend too much time thinking. Take action.

Then keep moving.

www.stevengriggs.com

Your Exterior vs Your Interior

No Limits | The Freedom Blog™

Your Exterior vs Your Interior

Written by Steven Griggs | stevengriggs.com

“One’s own self is well hidden from one’s own self; of all mines of treasure, one’s own is the last to be dug up.”

Friedrich Nietzsche

“Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”

Carl Jung

When talking about our exterior life vs our interior life there really isn't any versus, because our outer life and our inner life are one and the same. One begets the other.

They may seem separate but they are not. We create our exterior life by what we believe and visualize in our interior life. The only difference is that sometimes there is a delay from when we begin imagining our desired life to when it actually starts showing up.

Actually not all things take a long time to show up, in fact many times things can show up almost immediately... 

But I am talking about the basic circumstances of our life. How and where we find ourselves.

The issue we face is that sometimes we get it turned around and think our outer world, our exterior, is the real world and our interior world is just a world of daydreams and wishes.

But it is not.

Another problem for a lot of us is that we become sidetracked and blocked by the obstacles, the problems that crop up. We begin to wonder: “Why is it so hard, why is this happening?” “I didn't want this, this isn't what I was moving towards”. We see these as negative because they contradict what we say we “want”.

The truth is that this is happening because our interior dialogue is not totally clear and in alignment. Somewhere in our interior world we are getting blocked because we aren't really clear about our intentions. A limiting belief is clogging up the machinery. We are getting what we say we don't want because we aren't totally clear on what we do want. 

But when negative things are happening it gives us the opportunity to look into our self and seek out the source of this seeming contradiction. To take an interior inventory and find out where those beliefs are coming from.

What am I really believing?

We may see situations as “bad” or “negative” because they may be difficult or painful to move through. 

But the truth may be that this is part of the process, a step that is required for us to move forward, towards our new paradigm.

In other words the path we take isn't always in a straight line, in fact it probably never is but we keep moving forward.

When we come to a crossroads, we turn left or we turn right but there is no wrong turn.

Each step of the way gets us a little clearer, a little better at seeing the truth, and a little further along on our journey.

I personally don’t believe our interior and exterior worlds will ever be in complete alignment because as we grow our needs change and our exterior will need to be adjusted to reflect the new vision from the interior.

And so it goes….

www.stevengriggs.com

Victitlement

No Limits | The Freedom Blog™

Victitlement

Written by Steven Griggs | stevengriggs.com

“Depend upon it that if a man talks of his misfortunes there is something in them that is not disagreeable to him.”

Samuel Johnson

“I can’t complain, but sometimes I still do”

Joe Walsh

Have you ever found yourself blaming? Blaming something or someone that is the reason for your loss, your frustration, or your lack of progress?

You know, about anything that you feel you should have, would have had or could have had if it weren’t for _______________? Something you felt you were entitled to?

There are plenty of targets: the government, the schools, your parents, your childhood. Pick anything, the list is endless.

Mirriam-Webster defines entitlement as:

1.    a right to benefits specified especially by law or contract

2.   a government program providing benefits to members of a specified group; also : funds supporting or distributed by such a program

3.    belief that one is deserving of or entitled to certain privileges

As you can see entitlement mainly refers to benefits specified by law or a government program or the belief that one is deserving of or entitled to privileges.

So unless you are on some government program or own a country you aren’t really entitled to anything.

But you might say “I am entitled to my freedom”. And you would be wrong.

We aren’t entitled to anything. The freedom we take for granted is a gift from others (unless you are in the service), from earlier generations who have sacrificed. (Actually the feeling that we are entitled to our freedom has created a certain passivity in our culture and is one of the reasons we are quietly losing our freedom…. but more on that later.)

We aren’t “owed” anything.

What you have now or want in the future has depended and will depend upon your own actions, upon your efforts.

If you have traded your time for money to earn a living, that was your bargain. That was the deal you made.  

If you are an entrepreneur, you accepted the stress and pleasure of being in business for yourself and that was your bargain. That was your deal.

But in all cases, you are the driver. It is a choice you made and you reaped the results, whatever they were.

The second you look outside for a reason or for the cause of your current circumstances, you step into "victitlement".

Because believing that you are owed anything is being a victim, it is giving up your power by believing that things come from outside of you, from somewhere else. That life happens to you.

That is not true. You happen to life.

You are your creator. You visualize and through your actions (or inactions) you create your own reality.

You have created your current circumstances.  Whatever you have now or are doing now, whatever circumstances you find yourself in, you created.

And that is sometimes hard to accept…..

I am assuming you choose to be the master of your destiny and not answer to anyone. But for some that is uncomfortable and maybe not be achievable at this time. If so, for now you compromise and do what you have to do. You wait and plan until the time is right.

Your level of independence and freedom is a choice.

But wherever you are, you don’t get to complain. No one does.

By being a victim and feeling entitled you allow yourself to become a floating blob of helplessness, pushed by the currents of others, never consciously in control, always the victim.

“Waiting for someone or something to show you the way” as Pink Floyd says.

That would be living in a state of “victitlement”.

Accept responsibility and accept that you are in control, avoid victitlement and create the reality you choose.

It’s never too late.

www.stevengriggs.com 

Fear

No Limits | The Freedom Blog™

Fear

Written by Steven Griggs | stevengriggs.com

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer.

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.  Only I will remain.”      

Frank Herbert-“Dune”

Are you fearful? Are there times when you feel fear creeping into you, filling you up with doubt, your mind racing with possible solutions and outcomes? Have you felt like a trapped animal trying to find the way out, to escape, to be free again? Searching to find the answer that can lift this dark veil? To find a way to end the rising tension and crippling feeling of helplessness that flows into you….?

I know I have. And I’m pretty sure most of us have felt it.

But is it real? And what is fear?

Essentially, there are two types of fear:

The first is the ancient, hardwired “Fight or Flight” response. This is triggered by a direct outside stimulus: someone is outside your door trying to break in; you are confronted by a violent person; you are about to go on stage for a performance or speech, etc.

This triggers a chemical response in your brain and adrenaline and cortisol are released into your bloodstream. You experience a rise in blood pressure, rapid heart rate, sweating, a sharpening of your senses as your body gets ready to fight or run.

The other type of fear is a reaction to some outside event or new information you have become aware of, some future event that may happen. This type of fear manifests as anxiety. You become anxious because your ego mind does not know what is coming next and becomes more frantic because it doesn’t know. It panics because it can’t see the answer or know what the response should be.

How do you handle these fears?

Of the two, fight or flight is basically hardwired into us and can’t really be changed and for a good reason, it helps us survive.

In time the fear of public speaking or performing in front of crowds may lessen and other fears become less intense from familiarity and experience.

The second type of fear is basically a fear of the unknown. Again, it’s your ego mind’s need to know what’s coming and control outcomes. Fear does not exist outside your mind.

There are methods you can use to mitigate or lessen the impact fear has on your mind.

One thing I always come back to is to remind myself of the 80/20 rule or Paretos’s Principle: 80% of the things you worry about don’t happen and the 20% that do, aren’t as bad as you thought they’d be.

Here are three things to do:

1.      Ask, is it real? Fear only exists within you. There is no such thing as fear “out there”, only inside, so acknowledge to yourself that feeling fearful is ok but it is only a response. You can change your response.

2.     Believe in yourself and acknowledge that you are in control. It’s your mind, you are at the controls. Know that you have the ability to handle anything that comes at you. You already know the correct response. It always comes down to two answers: “They will or they won’t”, “It will work or it won’t”. “Yes or no”.

There are no good or bad outcomes, there is just the outcome. You just accept what is and respond to next set of circumstances.

3.      Accept what is. Whatever the outcome is, accept it and make a new plan. If you’ve done your best and taken action on your best idea, then let go and get ready for the next step.

  

Don’t waste one minute living in fear. Don’t give fear the time of day. It’s not real.

Live this life fully and know that when you look back some day these issues will seem very insignificant.

And if the worst happens, what is it?

Really, what’s the worst that could happen?

There are no more debtor’s prisons. Damaging your credit means nothing, that can be mitigated easily. Losing face or feeling humiliated is over rated, because it doesn’t really matter what other people think. Losing homes, net worth or assets is nothing. You can replace them later. If you are sued, so what, settle or walk away and start over.

If you have your health, your mind, and an idea, you can rebuild anything you think you’ve lost.

Just look at these issues as turds in the road. Go over or around them but keep moving.

www.stevengriggs.com