No Limits | The Freedom Blog™
Written by Steven Griggs | stevengriggs.com
“I will not be as those who spend the day in complaining of a headache, and the night in drinking the wine that gives it”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
“I can’t complain, but sometimes I still do”
“Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious”
“The people who live in a golden age usually go around complaining about how yellow everything looks”
Do you ever find yourself whining?
Sometimes I find myself in a huge whining session, droning on about people, situations and problems.
I think we are all guilty of it at one time or another.
But what is really going on? Are we really complaining about the person or situation?
Is that the real issue? I don’t believe so.
I believe that whining is merely a symptom. It’s a red flag letting you know that something is out of whack, something within you needs adjusting.
As a rule I try to always remain an observer of myself. I watch. When I see that I am reacting or having an emotional response that is way out of context with what is really happening, I ask myself, “Why is this pushing so many buttons?”,“What is really going on here?”
I try to step back and reevaluate what is happening. Then instead of reacting emotionally I reconsider and modify my response.
It’s not easy and sometimes I fail completely and fold into the emotion of it. But with time you get better and you can actually see yourself detaching bit by bit.
Basically you can’t really control your circumstances, only your reaction to them. I don’t mean you can’t change your circumstances, you can over time, but I mean reacting to the things that “happen” to you in your daily life. Change Your Mind
This is the major cause of unhappiness and discontentment. You rail against any circumstance that contradicts your wishes or desires. For example, you want to go to the beach, but it starts raining or you want to take a road trip but your car breaks down.
The next time you find yourself whining, take a hard look at it. Look underneath what it is that you are complaining about and try to see the real issue. I’ll bet you’ll see that it always comes back to you.
You feel unappreciated or unloved. You are frustrated with your home life or job situation. You feel stuck. You are surrounded by dysfunctional people.
It goes on and on. But the common denominator is always you. These are all issues that you can change or modify. It’s never about anything else.
So if you know you are the source are you willing to change your responses? Or is it much easier to stay in place, accept the situation and wallow in your pool of self-pity and whine?
Watch yourself. When you start to whine, stop, take a deep breath and either modify what you were going say or don’t say anything at all.
Try to remember this mantra: “Never complain, never explain”.