Integrity
Written
by Steven Griggs | stevengriggs.com
“Integrity
has no need of rules”
Albert
Camus
“Never
separate the life you live from the words you speak”
Paul
Wellstone
“Integrity
is not so much a value in itself; it is rather the value that guarantees all
other values”
Anonymous
I think we have all
been raised to be honest, to always tell the truth.
Since childhood we’ve
been told the stories of store keeper Abraham Lincoln being meticulous about
not taking advantage of his customers and the honesty of George Washington who
got carried away with his new little hatchet and cut down his father’s cherry
tree.
We understand what
honesty and truthfulness is. And most of us probably try to be honest and
truthful.
But somewhere along
the line some of us started to modify our commitment to honesty. Somehow being honest became more of a matter of convenience, a matter of expediency.
It started small,
maybe with just a slight exaggeration or a small bit of non-disclosure.
We began to tell
ourselves that it’s not really a “lie” and that, in the grand scheme of things,
it doesn’t really matter. “It’s just a small white lie….”. Then we would search
our mind and come up with a variety of justifications and rationalizations and
the guilt or uneasiness would go away.
Eventually we became
so used to little whites lies that we stopped noticing.
In time it became
easier and easier to “stretch” the truth or tweak it a little bit here and
there to smooth the situation or enhance it.
But this is dangerous and little white lies can grow and evolve into a hard wired way of thinking, creating a serious disconnect from reality. You can never be free living with deceit. It works to undermine you and if not eliminated can expand into something much darker.
Don’t go there.
Honesty does
matter.
At our core we know
what is wrong and right. We cannot be free if we carry one little bit of guilt
or have any misgivings. About anything.
Dishonesty in any
amount becomes a heavy burden.
Integrity starts
within you. You have to become totally honest with yourself if you are to ever
be honest with anyone else.
What do you do? How do
you start?
This is tricky because
we are so used to lying to ourselves that we don’t even know we’re doing it.
How many people keep their New
Year’s resolutions? No one
keeps their resolutions and no one expects you to keep yours. It’s almost like a national agreement to lie to ourselves.
How many diets have we all started? How long did you last? Several months, a few weeks or several days? Again, not keeping our promises is almost accepted as normal behavior.
So, again, it all starts with
you. You must begin the habit of keeping every promise you make to yourself.
You might not be used to having conversations with yourself but you must stop
saying things to yourself just because it sounds good or to appease your guilt. “I'll start tomorrow....” or “I don't feel good today, I'll start next week...". Who are you fooling? You are simply soothing your ego mind. It wants everything now with no effort.
So you have to stop
the lying. You have to stop being wishy-washy and flaky.
Don’t say it if you
can’t do it.
If you can’t do it or
aren’t able to right now, fine. Tell yourself I’m not ready yet. This can begin
the dialogue. You are being honest with yourself. When you are ready then
commit and keep your promise.
Get off the cycle of
promises not kept. Get real with yourself and start
meaning what you say.
Commit to start today.
The past doesn’t matter nor does the future. It’s just now.
Right now.
From now on do not
make any promise to yourself that you aren’t prepared to keep.
This is the first step
to becoming a person of integrity. Eventually this personal mantra will expand
into your dealings with everyone else.
Build integrity,
keep your promises. This is a huge step towards being free.
