Freedom Blog

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Understanding Restriction

No Limits | The Freedom Blog

Understanding Restriction

 Written by Steven Griggs |

"Poverty is restriction and as such, it is the greatest injustice you can perpetrate upon yourself"
Stuart Wilde

“It's not just the emotional, intellectual, and physical gaps between you and money. The real gap is always between what you think you want and what you actually want, deep down."
Stuart Wilde 

What is restriction?

Restriction shows itself in many ways, but restriction is simply anything that limits us or blocks us.

We are all born into some type of restriction. These could be the limitations or restrictions inherent in a society, for example the Indian caste system or simply being born into a typical American family living in a small western farm town, like I was.

Both examples have built in restrictions.

In the caste system you are born into a particular caste that dictates what you can do, where you can work and who you can marry. It locks you into your tribe or caste and that’s it.

In my case I was indoctrinated with strong, conservative Midwestern values. You went to school, played sports, graduated, went to college, got a degree and went to work. You were expected to settle down, marry, have children and then start the process all over again with your children.

You probably had a similar experience, as I think most Americans have, at least until recently.

The point is by simply being born we are thrown into a rigid, pre-structured life path. One that, because of the subtle and not so subtle programming we grow up with, locks us into a kind of pre-ordained future.

All restriction manifests itself in our physical circumstances, where we currently find ourselves.

In addition to the physical restrictions we are born into, there are ones we voluntarily take on, although some may argue that no one voluntarily “wants” restriction.

But that is not really true.

Our mind can be our biggest restrictor. It takes on certain beliefs that are not that different from the caste system.

We take on a belief system that dictates what you can do, where you can go, and what your future could be.

These restrictions form into what I call our Comfort Band and that’s what we adhere to. Not going below the lower limit nor higher than the upper limit.

Sometimes, because of our limiting beliefs, we sabotage ourselves.

I know someone who  is one of the smartest men I know. He is very capable and competent. Fifteen years ago he was a multimillionaire but today he has no car, lives in a small studio apartment, and has struggled with alcohol and gambling.

He has been homeless several times.

Because of his belief system, his comfort band, he very capably and competently sabotages himself every time he starts going above his upper comfort band limit.

He just can’t allow it.

He wins $10,000.00 at blackjack, then buys a car, stays drunk and parties for a week, then drives drunk, gets in a wreck, goes to jail, loses his apartment and most of his possessions. Then after 6 months gets out and rebuilds.

He has done some variation of this over and over for the past 8 years.

All the while his comfort band has been getting lower and lower as he has become more comfortable with his life. His days are spent sitting on a bus traveling to required meetings, drug testing, and AA. The problem is that now that he is getting older his health is becoming an issue and his energy is dissipating.

He wants a different life but he is a slave to his belief system.  

This is an extreme example and I sincerely hope he breaks out of this cycle but I don’t think it is uncommon.

Maybe the extreme ups and downs he goes through aren't average but you can see how we do sabotage ourselves.

But most of us do it in much more subtle ways.

So how do you reduce or limit restriction?

First- You have to be honest with yourself about where you are right now in relation to your “dreams” of where you want to be or where you thought you would be.

Can you see a pattern in your life?

You make good money but not really what you “think” you should make. You dream of a bigger house but continue to live where you are. You want a Porsche or Mercedes but continue to drive the car you have.

Look into yourself.

This can be difficult, because as you get older the dreams you haven’t accomplished are more painful to look at. And along the way you may have developed a kind of resignation and acceptance that maybe your dreams were too unrealistic and it was not meant to be.

That may well be true if you weren't really connected to those dreams but it is more than likely that you ran up against your belief system.

How low will it allow you to go? How high? Can you see the pattern?

Can you see how you never go too low or too high? That you stay within your band?

Recognizing your Comfort Band is the first step.

Become clear as to what your limits are.

We’ll talk more about what to do in an upcoming article.

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