No Limits |
The Freedom Blog™
The Best Way To Change A Habit
Written by Steven Griggs | stevengriggs.com
“It seems…. as though the second half
of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has accumulated during
the first half.”
Fyodor Dostoevsky
“The chains of
habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.” Samuel Johnson
A habit is defined as a repetitive behavior
that has become automatic. We usually group them into good and bad habits.
We can all probably list some of our own bad
habits and probably even some good habits.
Yes, we have things we do habitually like our
morning routines; maybe an early workout, then a shower, shave, or you put on your
makeup, then coffee or tea, then getting to the office or workplace, then lunch.
On the weekend maybe a work-out (or sleep in), coffee, bike ride, NY Times on
Sunday…. .
But I think these are really more like behaviors
or rhythms, comfortable routines that we create, than habits.
Because most of the “habits” we think we have, aren't really habits.
They are “Cognitive Scripts”. These are the
scripts of how we believe things should or will play out in a certain situation. It is
the template for a given situation based on our experiences from the past.
It allows us to comfortably exist in different
situations by giving us a script or story of how the situation should play out…
or at least how it is supposed to play
out.
Because sometimes things don’t seem to fit with
how we think they should fit. This is
called “Cognitive Dissonance”.
We do not like dissonance.
So in order to keep our “reality” consistent we
sometimes “alter” the conflicting conditions or reduce their importance in order
to bring our reality back into “balance”. We do this by changing our belief about the conflicting condition or by denying
the existence of the conflicting condition.
An example: Let’s say you desire something that
is very expensive but after being unable to find the funds to purchase the item, you tell yourself that it wasn't really that great or you didn't really need it
and so you change your belief.
Another example: You taste the grapes in the
fruit section of the market. You know it’s wrong but you tell yourself it’s OK because
you needed to taste the grapes to see if they were any good. You know it’s
really shoplifting but again you changed your belief.
So you can see that what we are saying to
ourselves, that is, what we decide to believe, right now becomes our script. We are writing out
the script of our life. We are deciding everything- who we now are, how
we are going to operate and what we now believe.
We are actually writing our own play or movie
and deciding what character we are going to play.
So when it comes to old habits or really old
beliefs, what are you going to believe? What do you want to believe?And what beliefs are you going to
change to match your new script?
You do know your script…..? Right?
Is it the correct script? The one for the
character you really want to play?
Not the old character but the new character, the one that reflects the
real you?
Not the one with all the same old “habits” and
routines but the new improved model, the one from the new script?
Habits and routines are OK as long as you
remain aware of them and don’t let them define you. To keep them in check, every once in a while go
off the reservation, do everything differently.
Change your pattern.
Don’t lose yourself in a haze of familiarity
and routine.
Change it up and keep refining your script.
